Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday

Growing up I didn't really understand Good Friday. I think I had a teacher that preached that she/he (since I don't remember who it was) thought that too much emphasis was put on Good Friday. That yes, Jesus died, but the point was Easter, the fact that he rose again. I think I lived with this idea for so long, that I let myself skip over Good Friday a lot, and focus on the resurrection and Jesus overcoming death.
Now that I'm older, and in a place where I'm evaluating why I believe what I believe in a way that I can defend it and really KNOW, rather than just recite it like a parrot. That was a fragment sentence. Oops. Anyways, now that I'm re-evaluating, I realize that it's really both. Yes, the point is the resurrection, because without it, there would not be salvation, there wouldn't be freedom in Christ. If Jesus didn't raise himself from the dead, then he wouldn't be who He said He was. He would have been just like every other man. But being God, He did rise from the dead, He did save us from our sin.
I feel like we can't really appreciate what He did until we understand what He went through. And what He went through isn't even comprehensible. I remember seeing the Passion of the Christ, and realizing that that was the watered down version. We can never know the pain and suffering He went through. We forgot the love of our Savior when we forget Good Friday. We forget His suffering and His Sacrifice. No, it isn't the focus of Easter, but it's a vital part to the story of Love.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I love this song and how much power it has.

Remember what our Savior did and how much He loves us.

"Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors."
-Isaiah 53

Amen!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Things have been...hectic, chaotic, and the emotions with those things have been on a roller coaster. Last week was absolutely insane. I feel like I can't complain because this is the life of a student. This is the life that I chose. But at the same time writing has always been cathartic for me, so even if I feel like I can't complain, I can. Maybe vent is the better word.

Over the past week I had a couple times where I wanted to post a blog, but didn't have time. So now I have all these ideas about what I want to write about. But I don't feel like writing about all of them.

Four weeks left of school, and I cannot be more thrilled. I have a lot to do until then, but after last week I feel like I can do anything.

I had three papers due, a midterm (which I actually got the worst grade I've ever had on), an hour presentation due, and then today had a 10 page paper due (which I had a scare when I couldn't find it the morning it was due...). And I actually didn't procrastinate on any of it! (Although I feel that the perk of procrastinating is that you get to focus on one thing, especially when a midterm is supposed to be on one perspective, and you've been studying four different ones...). On top of the homework, I had about 30 hours of work. Saturday and Sunday was spent sleeping a lot, and doing homework, and at work.

We also started a puzzle again. We busted out the one that Doug got me for Christmas. I'm excited, because it isn't as intense as the one that we didn't finish, but isn't really easy either.

Just starting out



What it is supposed to look like when it's done



Progress today!



It's relaxing to do a puzzle. And you feel productive. We may not have a dining room table, but hey, we usually eat on the couch anyways.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Kite Flying

Last Thursday we had our friends over to hang out. Sammy brought some kite making materials since it was windy and he had never flown a kite before. The boys (except for Andrew), all got busy making kites while the girls watched and talked. Each of them designed it a little differently as they had different ideas as to what would work.
Then we went out to try to fly them. Unfortunately it was just too windy and the kites just too small, but they had fun running around with the kite trailing behind them. James' had the closest to lift off out of the three.
We got cold pretty quick so we went inside, ate Robin Eggs Whoppers, and played Scribblish. Such a fun game! I love the time that we get to spend with friends!

Our table covered with tissue paper, bamboo skewers, and scotch tape (And Robin eggs)



Doug with his hot pink kite



Us



We wore the same sweater and pretty much the same outfit, which we thought was hilarious



Doug with his kite.



Sammy trying to get his kite in the air



Fly little kite!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Anxiety

I feel like I've always had anxiety.
With being a psychology major, we've studied it pretty in-depth.
Sometimes it seems helpful. Sometimes it doesn't.
Just because I understand it more, doesn't mean that will stop it.
Anyways.
When I was little I'd get stomach aches because of the anxiety.
Or I didn't do things that I wanted to because the anxiety wasn't worth it.
I feel like I missed out on stuff because of it.
Now that I've gotten kind of used to it, I've been able to use it in healthier ways. Some anxiety is good because then you get things done. If you didn't stress about anything at all you wouldn't do anything at all.
You study for tests because you're anxious (if you're too anxious though, then you're screwed). I've gotten good grades probably because of anxiety (and it's part of procrastination too).
I've pushed myself to just do stuff anyways. I call the banks and the phone companies with discrepancies or complaints.
But then there are other times where it's just crippling. And that's when it hurts. That's when I get angry at myself.
This week's going to be a tough one.
Buuusy.
So grateful for lots of hours at work.
And to be close to done with the semester.
Midterms, papers, and presentations are throughout this upcoming week.
Floorset is tomorrow night and Sunday night.
Not my favorite way to start the week...
Fortunately, I have an amazing God who can carry me through this all. And comfort me. And loves me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Tuesdays

Not all of my days are this crazy. But Tuesdays are pretty consistent:

Woke up. (9:20, so not that early)
Went to school. (10)
Aerobic Dance Class. (11-12)
Class (12-3). I got out an hour early today.
Work. (4-12)
Homework. (12-1:30)
Shower (1:30-45)
Bed

Monday, April 4, 2011

Whirlwind

I'm not actually counting down to my graduation.
But I know it's only a little over a month away.
I've got my cap and gown and my announcements (now to address them)
Thinking about after graduation though?
Freaks me out a little.
I know that God is in control and He knows exactly where he wants me.
I know that I'm in His hands.
Our finances are in His hands.
Our living situation is in His hands.
My job is in His hands.
He has and will continue to bless us and take care of us.
This is all my head knowledge. It is what I know without a doubt.
But it's hard to transfer that head knowledge to heart knowledge sometimes.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I know this, but I'm such a control freak it's hard to really give up the anxiety about it all, even though I know that I have no power over situations. I still worry even though God has proved to be faithful.

I should be freaking out more with schoolwork. Till the end I will be a procrastinator. Which lends to my attitude of "I'll deal with it when I have to, but I'm not going to worry about it now. It'll get done when it gets done." I think senioritus has something to do with it. Or that I've finally learned how to succeed in college. How the professors grade, being able to have a strong hunch what will be on the tests. Crunch time will come as I have many projects due around the same time, and then that time period will be over too.

The past couple of weeks have been fun ones. Last Thursday we were able to have our friends over for Kaity's birthday. I made her a cake and we made her choose all the activities for the night (which she just loved...) On Friday I was able to hang out with some of the youth group kids at Epic for about an hour. They played "Murder in the Dark" and "Hitchhiker" while I was there. Then I went bowling with our friends for Kaity's actual birthday. It was cosmic night with black lights, flashing lights, and loud music. She also got to show off her engagement ring that she got from James earlier that day! I'm so excited for them!

On Saturday night Doug, my mom, Andrew, and I went to see our friend Shauna in her production of Guys and Dolls. I'd never even seen the movie, but really enjoyed the production. She was so good in it too!

On Sunday we went to my parents as usual for lunch. We celebrated my mom's birthday early, since we were able to all be together then. My dad made her a German Chocolate Cake. And a crab and steak dinner. Then we played Pictionary, which Doug and I won. Then we went home and watched some Lost before going to youth group. Later that night we finished the series of Lost. Now we need to find a new one! I enjoyed it, but liked the earlier seasons and wished they had gone a different direction. But oh well.






Today after class I picked my mom up to go out to lunch for her birthday. We went to Aloha Steakhouse. We ordered the exact same thing (Teriyaki chicken, steamed broccoli, caesar salad, and passion iced tea). We had an ocean view with the pier, islands and surfers from our table. The waitress brought macadamia ice cream covered in fudge and macadamia nuts with real whipped cream on the side. It even had a yellow candle in it. Then after lunch we went to the mall to try to find a cardigan for my mom. There wasn't anything that she really liked, so she decided she wanted a bracelet from World Vision. By donating money to World Vision, they give you a bracelet as a remembrance of the people you're helping.

We also both went through our Target lists (us little housewives that we are). I had to get a new Brita filter system since ours broke this morning. (I had it balancing on the sink and it fell onto the floor and cracked up the side). I decided to get more of a dispenser that sits in the fridge with a spigot instead of a pitcher. No more having to take a pitcher out of the fridge every time (and less opportunities to drop it).

Here's to six more weeks till graduation (maybe I'm counting down a little)

Song that's been on my heart lately:

The stand ~ Hillsong United MP3 Download




You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hands
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
You carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulder
My soul now to stand

So what can I say?
And what can I do Lord?
But offer this heart, oh God
Completely to You

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

So I'll walk upon Salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand


So what can I say?
And what can I do Lord?
But offer this heart, oh God
Completely to You