Life Changes

Over the past few months I've made some lifestyle changes. Truth be told, I feel a little more hippy, and a lot more down to earth. I have a lot more energy and feel more adventurous and happy. Here's what I've started doing differently:

Eating better. I have a huge sweet tooth. And a huge salt tooth (if that's such a thing). I love my junk food. From Half Baked Ben and Jerry's Ice cream to Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar and Sweet Maui Onion Chips, I love to eat. I guess I have good genes, because my body hasn't really showed how much I love my junk food (besides my muffin tops). But over the past few months I have really enjoyed shopping the produce section of our grocery stores, even more than usual. And I haven't just switched to salads. I eat spaghetti squash as spaghetti, brussel sprouts, guacamole, lots and lots of spinach (usually in a morning egg scramble with onions and bell peppers. I snack on celery and peanut butter, carrots and ranch dressing, and lots of fruits. Mangoes, kiwis, bananas, and blackberries (I've discovered that blackberries are probably my favorite fruit, they're just usually so expensive). Yesterday I was musing that I couldn't decide which fruit or veggie I wanted to snack on, and that's when it hit me that my eating habits had changed, as opposed to just restricting myself. And don't get me wrong. I still snack. Yesterday I had chocolate covered toffee popcorn, and it was delicious. But I crave healthy stuff a lot more, and it's not a hard choice to eat healthier than it was a couple months ago. But I've traded in my Half Baked Ice Cream for Frozen Greek Yogurt (the best is the blueberry vanilla graham flavor).

Being Active. I've been able to get away with not really needing to work out. I have my qualms with my body, but I've been lucky that my body doesn't betray my eating habits. But that doesn't mean that I'm healthy. In fact, I have zero endurance for any kind of endurance. I hate working out. I always have. I hate feeling like I'm overheating. I hate breaking a sweat through work out. I hate how my face gets sooo red when I work out. But I like being able to go hiking and not get so winded. I like being able to be active because I work out, not work out just to lose weight (although that's a bonus). So a little over 2 weeks ago I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred series. Since it was free on youtube I had nothing to lose. I did 10 days on level 1 and then moved onto level 2. I did four days on that and then was done. I no longer had a desire to continue the series. I didn't even see level 3's video. But on Tuesday I felt super weak and just couldn't bring myself to work out. Normally I do it first thing in the morning but I wasn't feeling well and just didn't do it. Yesterday I started doing it and got half way through before I had had enough. I don't think that it was too hard. It wasn't that. It was hard, but I felt good after. I felt like I was getting stronger, and that felt great. My endurance still sucks, but it was a little better, and I didn't expect it to change much in 2 weeks. I think that I just got bored. But I figure that with all of the free work out videos out there, I'll just vary it up. Today I did a yoga video. Ideally I'd rather get outside and go for a long walk on the beach or a hike up to two trees or in Malibu, but on the in between days I'll just vary my work out videos. By the way, I still hate working out. I don't know if that will ever change.

Hair Habits. At the beginning I mentioned that I felt a bit hippy. This is where this fits in. I love my hair and have always wanted it really long. My hair is fine and thin though, so getting it grown out is hard to do! Since high school I have done hair masks and gone through numerous hair products trying to find that special one. Lately the trend has been dry shampoo and not washing your hair every day, but instead about twice a week. So this is what I have started doing. I started with every other day washing it, because that was even hard. I started putting dry shampoo in on the off days (the idea being that while it soaks up the oil, it isn't stripping the hair like shampoo does, but leaves it in the hair, thus being better). I still shower my body most days, but I've heard that isn't that great for your skin either. The French may have had a great idea with the boday. It's been over 2 months since I started washing my hair twice a week, and I feel like my hair is a little healthier. It feels stronger. Of course, I won't really be able to see results for a few more months as it continues to grow. As a result of not washing it every day I've also gotten more savvy with french braids and other hair styles since it's not always pretty to have down.

Those are the main changes in my life right now. Nothing else has really changed. Still working at Target and American Eagle. Although I think there's going to be some changes with each of those in the coming weeks. This year has just flown by. It's cliche, but man time just goes faster and faster as you get older. I'm almost as old as Doug was when we got married. And we've almost been married for 4 years! Crazy! I'm still just loving this adventure of a life :)

A Day Off

It's been forever since I've actually felt like blogging. Since I've actually have had something to say (and I wouldn't say that this post is actually informative or declaratory of anything in particular). I just never felt the need or want to write anything so I haven't in almost half a year. It's been a really tough half year too, so I'm rather glad that I didn't document any of it. 

Today was my day off of work and it makes me laugh how much work there is to do around the house on a day off. I cleaned the entire apartment (if our little cupboard takes 4 hours to completely clean, I don't want to know how long it will take in our future house!). I did all of the laundry (it's even already folded and put away!), and washed all of the linens. I also have tomorrow off so I figured that I wanted to get all of the chores out of the way so that I could enjoy the rest of my "weekend." It's something that I want to instill in my future kids so I figured that it's something that I need to really cement in myself first. 

As I was taking care of our home I got to thinking how much I really enjoy providing a nice home for Doug and I to come home to. I really believe that I've been called to be a housewife because I find so much fulfillment from it. The problem is that the world is appalled at my views and feelings on the matter. I can't count the number of conversations that have been so condescending to me and my "career path."I'll be told how they raised their kids AND worked and how I can do the same. How I need to pursue other paths. How it's impossible to live on one income in these times. 

People seem to confuse me not having a career calling with me not wanting to do anything. I do want to do something. I want to raise Doug and mine's kids and cook and clean and do the grocery shopping.   I don't want to go to work to pay someone else to take care of my kids and to clean my house. Yes, it will be hard to live on one income but my God provides for his children.

I don't see homemaking as an easy job. I know it is hard. I know it is demanding physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually just like any other job. And it's not like it's a job that I always like doing. Today I woke up and didn't want to do anything except sit on the couch and catch up on my shows. Anyone that knows me knows that I hate</> doing laundry. But today the work needed to be done. So I did it. And am satisfied. 

I need to remember that my worth doesn't come from my career of choice. Nothing that I do on this earth can make me more worthy than the blood of Christ has already made me. My worth comes from God saying that I am worthy and calling me to be his child. I need to stop letting other people weigh in how I feel about myself and my calling. 

I have one more load of towels to fold and put away before I eat breakfast and take a shower (finally). Then I get to go into work since Target called and offered me a shift. I guess that day off will need to wait till tomorrow :)

Date night

Last night Doug and I were able to go on a date. We try to do date nights often, but usually our dates will consist of candy and cuddling up to watch something on Netflix. Last night we actually got to get out and do stuff we hadn't done yet. 

We started with dinner at Ferraro's. It's a local Ventura place that everyone talks about and has been to (or so it seems). I had never been and Doug hadn't been either, so we checked it out. And we liked it. It's an Italian restaurant and had a fun atmosphere. Cozy and quaint. I liked the fact that they had real flame candles. I don't like it when restaurants have the fake kind. I got a spinach and pesto ravioli and Doug got beef ravioli. We were stuffed. 

Next we went to golf n stuff. We hadn't been here yet. We went miniature golfing when we were in South Carolina, but had never gone in Ventura. I don't usually care for putting, mainly because I'm not very good at it. So we don't keep score (although I know that Doug won but he wouldn't believe me when I told him that). We had a lot of fun though just goofing off, calling Mulligans, and at least trying not to hit it more than 6 times. 

On this hole we both hit a hole in one. Doug got it to go up the ramp and that was an automatic hole in one. I went to the side of the ramp and then when we went to the lower green couldn't find my ball. It ended up being in the hole. Too bad we missed it, but hole in one!

Inside the gold mine tunnel. I remembered a lot of the course from when I was little. Mainly how I wanted to be able to play in the little buildings and forts that were built, and was disappointed that they were fake.

I think my form could use a little work.

Then we roamed around a few stores. We like just hanging out and window shopping. We started at Petsmart and found this awesome bird. The first part of the video is a bit boring, but I love how you can see Doug and the bird interact with the bobbing. So awesome. 

We wandered through Michales, Sports Authority, and Barnes and Noble. I got a pumpkin cookie cutter for when I make sugar cookies in the fall. We were going to get Thrifty ice cream, but the flavors were really low since it was so late at night. Then we came home and watched Hunger Games special features.

I'm so thankful for opportunities like that to hang out with my best friend.

Done with Summer

For the past couple of weeks I've really been looking forward to fall. Schools are starting to begin and summer is coming to a close. Although it will still be warm for possibly 2 more months. Boo. Lately I've been looking forward to all of our fall activities.

Hot drinks on cold nights. Chai, hot chocolate, apple cider...

Hot coffee on cold mornings. Drinking hot coffee in a heat wave just isn't enjoyable...

Electric blankets. There's just something about being wrapped up in a warm bed in a cold room. So toasty.

Early sunsets. I've always liked when it gets dark early (but I enjoy the change when daylight lasts till 9 pm also). I'm ready for bed much earlier.

Sweaters. It is so hard to wear a cozy sweater when the weather isn't permitting!

Moccasins. They are my go-to shoe during the fall and winter when it's too cold for sandals.

Curling up with a book with a blanket and a hot drink. Once again, you can't do that when it's hot out!

Cuddling with a sweet husband (or cat if he's not home). Neither really wants to cuddle when it's warm because it's too uncomfortable to be that close to someone when it's 80 degrees out.

Crisp cold air. There's nothing like the smell of fall (I swear there is one).

Pumpkin. Pumpkin everything. Coffee creamer. Bread. Muffins. Cookies. Pie. Air freshener. Candles.
Not to mention Jack-o-lanterns and their seeds!

Orange and red. Neither look good on me to wear, but I love seeing them everywhere in the decorations.

Thanksgiving and all the delicious food and leftovers that go with that.



That's what comes to mind right now, but I know that there are more. So summer, you were great but you can see yourself out now. Autumn, you're welcome to come anytime.

A couple weeks ago we celebrated our 3 year anniversary. It does not feel like it has been that long at all. It's crazy when I think about all that has happened and all that we've been through. 

We both had the day off and we decided to go on some adventures. Doug had been wanting to go to the Los Padres Forest again. We went last summer but didn't have a chance to go back again. We got a park pass and went up there. We did one trail that took us to a water fall. The waterfall was pretty dried up though. This was the first one that we came to. The moss was really pretty. It was supposed to be a short hike (and to this point it was), but then we decided to go up the side of it. It was a challenging climb and we were wishing we had brought our water (but we hadn't because it was supposed to be a short hike).

View from the top of the valley. There was a view of a rock wall behind us that was supposed to have a big waterfall cascading down it, but it was completely dry. 

We then went to the trail that we had been to last time. We hiked to some huge white rocks last year, but this year we decided to follow the river. Except that when we got to it, there was no river. It was completely bone dry. And it was in the nineties. We were so hot hiking in the sun. We hiked for a bit, and then decided that the beach sounded good.

So we went there

We layed out and enjoyed the sun. I fell asleep for a bit, which left a nice tan line on my back...

Then we went back to the apartment and got ready to go out to dinner. When we were on Kauai for our honeymoon we went to Duke's for dinner at our hotel. We have one in Malibu so we thought that it would be fun to go out there for dinner. So we got dressed up (California standards) and drove out there for our reservations.

The view from our table

My baby back ribs

We were actually kind of disappointed in Duke's though. We thought that for the money that we were paying, the food wasn't as good as it should have been. It was good, but we could have gotten that kind of a meal at Wood Ranch or something for a lot less money. But oh well. It was fun going out there. Actually we were laughing that a lot of thing didn't go as planned that day, and if it had been about having the "perfect" day, we probably would have been upset or felt like the day was a waste. But it came down to our attitudes and our responses to situations. We were just happy to be hanging out with each other and celebrating our marriage. In fact, now that I'm writing this, I'm having a hard time of the things that went "wrong". Which means that they really weren't wrong, they just were unexpected. We had a great day and I'm so lucky to have Doug as my husband.

Lately Luna has been loving our windows. This is our bedroom window and she is almost always in it when we get home from work. She meows at us as we walk up the stairs and then when we open the door she still comes running. She likes this window when the curtains are open and the one by our kitchen table. She loves just watching.

This week we had Thursday afternoon off again to spend with each other. It's been hot with a heat wave so we hit the beach again. Then we went to my parent's house to watch the Chargers first preseason game. Which they won. Against the Packers. Then we watched the Olympics that were on since we haven't been able to see very many without having cable. 

Doug left tonight for Indianapolis for a convention with GameChurch. So now Luna can finally live up to her purpose in our family. We originally got her to keep me company for when Doug was gone since he had been gone a lot. She is always company though for both of us when the other isn't there. Now she has extra purpose since Doug will be gone until Monday. I hate when he's gone. He keeps me sane. 

Piece of my heart

I didn't miss July entirely! I sadly thought that I might.

Today I bought my first organic produce/products. Yams, milk, and eggs. I've been on a health kick lately and today I was reading up on balancing my body and such and went grocery shopping. I'm excited for what I got and what I'm planning on cooking. Maybe cooking can become a hobby for me. I need one of those.

Lately I've realized that I don't have a hobby. I've had hobbies, but they've slowly faded. When I have free time, I don't do what I used to enjoy. I'll watch my tv shows. Or clean. Or do laundry. The rest of the time I'm at work. It makes me sad when I think about it. But I haven't had time to think about it. So recently I've been wanting a hobby. I haven't even read anything lately. And I have so. many. books. to. read.

A year ago Doug and I were in Brussels. We've been looking back on our trip over the past two weeks. It's fun to read our blog and be like, "A year ago we were in the Eiffel tower." I still need to finish the photo book that I started. Again, another hobby/project to finish. We both miss Europe though and are hoping to get out of debt and be able to travel again. But with life continuing in that annoying way that it does, I don't know when we will afford to travel again.

We are still hoping for Doug to be able to go to school this fall. Just a few more kinks to work out and he'll be on his way. We're really relying on God to provide for us during that time financially, mentally, and emotionally. It's a scary adventure every month but He had never disappointed us (and never will).

At Target I've had a few regulars that I can recognize. (Normally that's not a good thing if we can recognize you since it means you probably left a bad impression). There's this one woman that comes in that always baffled me. She appeared to be homeless with a trolley full of bags full of stuff. She always walked in and I know she rode the bus around. She's also a germaphone (mysophobia for those that don't know the slang). Every time I rang her up she did not want to touch her change. She would fish it out with a napkin or such. She bought a new wallet one day and got very angry when I opened it up and began looking in the pockets (which we have to do in case something was put in there by either the person buying the item or someone else that left it there). I told her I had to look because it was our policy. She thought I was accusing her of stealing. Once I made her understand that wasn't the point, she was still upset that I was touching her new wallet with my hands that have been handling money. She also only ever has new money bills on her. And if you have to give her change back, she wants you to find her the newest bills in your register. She always takes a really long time first to pay, then to gather her items and leave your line (which people behind her do not appreciate at all, see what I mean about us remembering you?)

She really took to me though and after every transaction she would ask me my name. Maybe I was the only person that treated her like everyone else and respected her wishes. I dunno cause I never saw her interactions with other cashiers. But she always seemed to end up in my line.

This morning she was there again. When it was her turn to be rung up, I asked her, like everyone else, how her day had been going. She told me not that great, to which I said I was sorry. She then talked to me for what seemed like 10 minutes about how she hated that question because she felt that nobody really cared, that it was just an American greeting (in a way she is right). She told me how once she was sarcastic back to someone and told them that she was just wonderful, to which she was told that she had given "the correct answer." The whole time she kept saying that she didn't doubt my genuineness. She then told me that she had been on the streets and was supposed to be moving up north tomorrow and into a hotel until a shelter has room for her. She had saved up enough money to finally move. Currently she has been staying outside on the concrete next to a motel and had the cops called on her the night before just for being there. (She's probably in her late 50s or early 60s). Her bones were hurting and she was tired. My heart really broke for her. I asked her what her name was and then I asked her if she would be offended if I told her that I would be praying for her. She seemed surprised but her face lit up and said that no, she wouldn't be offended. So that's what I'll do. She's God's sparrow.

I now wear men's deodorant. They don't really make a women's deodorant without aluminum in it. I've just used antiperspirant since high school but really don't want to anymore. There's a brand called Tom's that makes it without aluminum, but it just didn't work for me. So I got the girliest smelling Old Spice that I can find and will just use that. I'm already married, so maybe people will just think I smell like my husband instead of random dude.

I'm glad that one of the fastest (there's lots of debate as to the fastest) healing parts of the body is the eye, cause I accidentally poked it today. With a plastic fork. It's still hurting a bit. So I'm glad that it should be better by tomorrow. But it's making me feel much more tired than I thought I was.

Life is interesting right now. What a ride.

...June

So I've really dropped the ball on blogging. Now that half of my audience has moved across the country to be closer, I lost half my reason for writing in the first place. Aaaand not much has changed. 

Doug's looking at going back to school in the fall to finish up his bachelor's degree. He got accepted into CSUCI and just needs to meet with counselors to figure out classes and to apply for financial aid and student loans. We're hoping he can get that done soon so that he can return this fall. Getting him through school gets us one step closer to starting our life out. 

I've been working with both Target and American Eagle. I'm still deciding which I like better. Both can be amazing, and both can suck. It really depends on the customers/guests that you get that day and how they interact with you. It's amazing how some people can really make your day. I have regulars at both places. And then there are the regular mean people. The really bitter people who try to bring you down with them. I hope to never become like that. 

American Eagle is great because it's much more variety. You aren't stuck in a box for hours on end. You move around a lot. And you do different jobs. You interact, and then you task. And there's nothing measuring your speed of your transactions, so you can connect better with people (obviously Target isn't designed to be able to do that. People need to get out of there!) And you get to interact with co-workers. You make friends a lot easier. 

Target is great because...the company really cares about its employees. Some there might disagree with me, but it really is a great company to work for. The problem with Target is it gets lonely. You can't really interact with your co-workers, or they get mad at you for talking. So you're pretty much on your own for 8 hours, having superficial conversations with people who may or may not get angry at you for trying to meet your quota of Red Cards. Some days aren't like that. When it's slow it's amazing. Plus, I get a lot of hours there. And the higher ups listen to you. I had a half hour conversation with my boss in which he thanked me for my feed back, instead of trying to make excuses for the criticism I was giving. 

I can't believe I'm already going to be 24 next week. That I've been out of high school for 6 years. And that I've been out of college for a year. Sometimes I get really discouraged wondering how I've grown at all. How I am any different than I was in high school. But I know I have changed. Drastically. And thank God. Not that I was a terrible person back then. But I was naive. Man was I naive. I wish I could have talked to myself back then. I probably wouldn't have listened to me though. 

I've been working on myself a lot the last couple of months. I look at myself and then at who I want to be and try to make the necessary changes. I feel like I've changed a lot just over the last year. I'm not as emotional as I used to be. I'm not as sarcastic either. I still am, but I've needed that defense mechanism a lot less as I work through myself. I still have mad anxiety, and still will have anxiety attacks at work. But I work through them. I've been focusing on love. Love God. Love others. Both can be hard at times. But that's who I want to be. 

After not having had a cold for a long time, I've finally caught one. I'm off to take some meds and hopefully sleep it off before waking up early and going to work. 

Next week is promising to be a good one. I'm super excited to live it.