Ramblings

This is going to be a very random posts (but a lot of them are...)

I still haven't heard anything back from Wells Fargo. I'm having the attitude of "No news is good news," especially when that means that they haven't said "NO!".

I've been in a funk for the past week and have no clue why. It's putting a stress on everything though and I don't like it. 

The other day Luna was playing with me on the couch and I noticed that her paws were a little odd. I inspected them and discovered she'd been playing with the lilies on my nightstand again...I had to sit on her in order to get this picture, but it cracked me up. It's like catching a kid with chocolate all over their face and a look like, "what?"

We've discovered that she really likes our friend Andrew. When the whole group was over last Friday night, she only jumped up on him. The rest of the time she snuggled with his stuff.

We also celebrated Allison's birthday that night. And I made a cake! (I'm getting better at writing with icing, I think).

On Sunday morning I didn't feel like going anywhere. I didn't sleep well the night before and was exhausted. So we stayed home and made waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. Doug was nice enough to run to Target for the whipped cream since we didn't have any (Luna loves it too, I let her try a small bit today. I thought it would scare her when I sprayed it in her face, but it didn't at all!)

There was another beautiful sunset tonight. The kind that's pretty when the sun's going down but then just gets amazing after the sun is gone. I didn't even bother putting the ones of it setting because they just didn't compare.

We love where we live.

Doug loves doing this to Luna and it is so funny to watch. It makes me laugh so hard. Once again, it's like having a little kid when they're discovering their voice. The video's kinda dark, but he shakes her on the couch and she meows and that's the noise that you hear. 

In honor of Fat Tuesday, I ate both a mug of cookies n cream ice cream and an ice cream sandwich.

Chicken!

I wrote too much for a comment, so I'll just make a post about it.

I'll try to write out my chicken recipe, but I kind of just wing it :)

First I melt a little butter in a pan on the stove over medium eat. Just enough to cover the bottom for stickage. I then put a splash of lemon juice in with it. Once it's heated, I put the chicken breast in. Usually I'll put it face down, and then flip it, so that it gets the butter lemon mixture on the top of it. Then flip back over. Then I sprinkle some garlic powder, minced onion, and lemon pepper seasoning on top (the lemon pepper seasoning I found at Krogers for a dollar). Then I cover with a lid and let it cook for a little bit. I'll turn them over with tongs from time to time. It takes about 10 minutes to cook on the stove. You can either cut it open to check that it's cooked, but you can feel the texture change too. I've never had it still be cooked. I like making it on the stove because it's a lot juicier than when it's in the oven, and it takes a lot less time to cook!

Accidental Valentine's Day

Doug and I usually don't do Valentine's day since we don't really believe in overpriced love. I had my interview this morning and then work, and he was at work all day. We had been planning on going to youth group, but Doug's boss randomly told him to take the night off. So I cooked us an impromptu candlelit dinner and then made chocolate covered strawberries (with Ghiradelli chocolate!). The strawberries were on sale at Target (and they're huge!), and turns out Ghiradelli chocolate chips are the same price as Nestle. Who knew? Now they're still chilling in the fridge till we're ready to eat them.

I also made Doug watch a chick flick. Made is too harsh a word. He was actually very nice about it and went along without any complaints. I did use Valentine's Day for some leverage as to why we had to watch one (just waiting for Halloween to bite me in the butt...). I chose The Time Traveler's Wife, and he said it was pretty good. I feel like I like the good chick flicks though...I don't think I've steered him wrong yet.

Our strawberries!

Lately I've really been into trying to eat healthier. (I ate three donuts last night though...and one today...). But I've been having some fun with some cooking. I tried making my chicken a new way and now that's the only way I cook it. I have a hard time with changing recipes once I find one that I like. I've also gotten into brussel sprouts. I don't know if how I make them is healthy, but they're delicious. And I've never liked them before. I make a mixture of olive oil, lemon juice, garlic powder, minced onion, and salt, and then roll the brussel spouts in it (I've only used frozen too as they're super cheap at Target that way). Then I roast them at 400 for about 30 minutes, turning them half way through. They are so good. I've eaten them 4 times for dinner this week. I've been pleasantly surprised to realize that I like many more vegetables than I despise (brussel sprouts just switched sides, but lima beans are still on the despise list). 

As I stated earlier, I had an interview today. It was for a teller position at Wells Fargo. I was online and searching for jobs and thought, "Why not?" So I applied and got a group interview appointment. I feel like it went well, but I felt like we were all on a similar playing field, so I don't really know how they are going to choose who to extend a second interview to. Pretty much, either a hiring manger from a branch will call me or I'll be emailed a rejection. I guess after that I'll really know how I feel about this position. Right now it's pretty casual. Not that I don't care about the position, but just knowing that if it doesn't happen then I'm not supposed to work there. Simple as that. 

Luna has discovered our bath mat (I called it when we first got her) and has been loving it. She "fights" with it and plays with it. She bites it and hides under it. She's hilarious with it. Here's a video of it (you also get to see her ninja somersault that she does)

Haha she cracks me up

Worth

Lately I've been struggling with worth. Not really self esteem though, but just what I'm worth.

I know that my worth is in Christ and what he did for me. I know that I'm not worthy of his grace and mercy, but he made me worthy by choosing to die for me. That is where my worth is. God loves me, chose me, saved me, and wants a relationship with me. Bottom line.

But how does that work with the world that I'm living in? In a world where a woman is almost expected to keep up with a man. If you can't play with the big boys, don't bother trying out. Women are expected to do the same as a man does. And if anything, we have to work harder to get less (the whole glass escalator/ceiling analogy). We have to work hard to be taken seriously, to get respect, and to be worthy.

Don't get me wrong. This isn't some feminist rant. My views are far from feminism. In fact, I blame the feminists for giving women this burden to carry. I am in awe of women who are able to work 40 hour weeks, raise their children, and take care of their households. I don't know how they do that. I don't know if the family unit suffers because of it, but they do the best they can. I feel like I have barely enough time to take care of our little apartment with no kids and working part time.

I do not believe that a woman shouldn't be able to work. Power to those that want to. Women are amazing workers with different passions. I'm having a hard time because I feel like I'm not worth anything in this world. Not that I need to find worth here for my citizenship is in Heaven, it just makes it difficult.

It's difficult to talk to people about your career when you don't have much of one. When you don't have a passion for a career. Some people get it. And some don't. And look at you like you're crazy. Or worse, like you're lazy. I'm not lazy. When I want something. I work for it. I work hard. When I put my mind to something, it gets done. But when people hear that I'm not working towards a career, that I don't want to be a lawyer, a psychologist, a manager, an executive, they make me feel like there's something wrong with me.

And with me wanting to be a homemaker and stay at home mom, I don't foresee this feeling changing in the next twenty years.

I like my life now. I like that I have a job with various hours. I like being able to have time to do laundry, clean the apartment, cook dinners. Time to take a yoga class, a Bible study. Time to volunteer at our church's youth group twice a week and to help lead a book discussion. I like having one night to spend with our friends and an afternoon with my parents every week. I'm okay with not having a full time job, but the world is sending me a different message, and has been since I was little.

Even more amazing with me being okay with who I am is that I married a man who loves who I am. He is proud of me no matter what I do and supports me in everything I do. He finds me worthy and always will. I have been blessed with an incredible man.

I have a job interview on Tuesday. I'm not really stressed about it because my life isn't depending on it. I'm just seeing if there is a path here. If the answer is no, then so be it.

God loves me.
God knows what's best.
God is in control.

That's the bottom line.

(By the way, nothing ever came of the manager position at my current job. It hasn't come up again, which I'm okay with because I never really made a decision).