It seems that Coen hasn't reached that magical place of unicorns and rainbows that so many sites claim happens between 6-8 weeks. In fact, more sources point to this being the fussiest time for newborns, and that seems to be more true. Which just seems weird for him since he is such a good baby--and he still is. He just needs to be held and rocked more and doesn't nap well enough to be put down once he falls asleep. Luckily there are many arms who are eager to hold him. And it's how I was able to finish my 730 page book before I had to return it to the library.
My mom took me and Coen on a toy shopping spree since he didn't really have that many toys besides his gym that were age appropriate. While at Babies R Us she saw the book "Happiest Baby on the Block." I had heard it referenced on a couple different sites when I was looking up various things but hadn't thought much about it. She bought it for me though and just at the right time. It pretty much theorizes that for the first three months of life, babies just want to be back in the womb. They don't really interact with the world yet and are most at ease when we imitate the womb by swaddling, holding them on their side/stomach, swinging them, making shhing sounds, and letting them suck on something. It's his recipe for a calm baby, especially a colicky baby (Thank you God that Coen isn't colicky). But he has been fussy the last couple of days. Crying for apparently no reason, or not staying soothed for long. Usually I don't swaddle him during the day when he's just sleeping in my arms or somebody else's. But yesterday he needed to be swaddled in order to be at ease and go to sleep--twice. I'm only about half way through the book, but it's really helped so far. And we got it at the perfect time since it's only helpful the first three months.
It got me thinking about something that I've seen in the literature again and again: that parenthood isn't instinctual. That we're constantly wanting manuals on how to take care of a baby. And that seems so strange to me. In the wild animals have the instincts on how to best care for their young. They just do it. But for humans it isn't instinctual, even breastfeeding isn't instinctual for baby or mom. Baby has some instincts to help it breastfeed, but many still are needing to learn along with mom how to best do it. Maybe we do have these instincts but we don't trust ourselves enough to use them. Or we have instincts enough where our babies are going to live. It's not like if I didn't do any research I wouldn't have been able to care for Coen at all. But there are so many different theories on babies and how to care for them. It's not like we all instinctually know the "best way." And some theories, like letting a baby Cry It Out in the first three months, do feel wrong (because it is).
I was talking to my mom about this and she brought up the fact that it's probably because God meant for us to live in community. Unlike in the wild, we're not meant to do it alone. The older generations were meant to guide the younger generation and to help them out. The households were multigenerational so there was ample help with your child. And I'm sure that even within those households there were different ideas on the "best" way to calm a baby.
I'm really looking forward to getting plugged in with other young mothers. I need community for this period of time in my life. I have some Facebook friends who are in the same season and who can give advice, but none locally. None to hang out with or have play dates with. My church has a MOPS program so I'm looking forward to trying that in the fall. Something that I would not be able to do if I were working since they meet during the day.
I think he finally drifted off for good. Now it's my turn to try to go to sleep. I feel like I've had a touch of insomnia the past few days. Boo. Which makes me feel like this:
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