Update

Someone pointed out to me that I haven't blogged in over a month. And it's true. And sad.

For a while nothing really changed. Then a lot changed and a lot happened and we were really busy for a couple of weeks. I've tried to document events though so now I can catch you up! I also had to wait to get our camera program back onto Doug's computer after it crashed :/

We found a place to live! We didn't really expect it to happen so soon, or to have the money to be able to move out. But God has provided for us in big ways. We love our new place. It is smaller than our first place, but the view makes up for it. Plus our bedroom is bigger than our old one. It actually makes our bed look small! One big change has been that we don't have a dishwasher, but it's not that bad at all. I did take before/after pictures when we moved in but we haven't quite finished moving in so I don't have all of the after pictures.

We had to get a new table because our old one was too big. The new one is the perfect size for us though. We also got a DVD bookshelf so that we'll have more room for books once we cut down our bookshelf to fit (our ceiling is 8 feet, our bookshelf is 8 feet 2 inches...). We also had to buy a fridge since it didn't come with one!

We painted on our move in date. We had some help from our friends Elyse and Allison and also my dad came and helped us. He's good at the edging so I was really thankful for his help. Then the next day we got all of our boxes out of my parent's garage with the help of our friend Andrew. We also met the problem neighbors that day. But everyone else we've met has been really sweet, we just happened to meet the problem ones first. Lovely.

A few days later we moved our bed and our clothes over and had our first night in our apartment. Doug came home with some lilies (my favorite) and a piece of cake, the kind at the grocery store where you buy one slice. This has become kind of a unspoken gesture for us. When we got married, we decided not to save the top tier of our cake (because that's kind of gross) and instead, on our anniversary, we bought a slice of cake to eat together. There have been several times where one of us has brought home a slice of cake as a treat to share. When we got married we learned the symbolism of the bride and groom feeding the cake to each other. It symbolizes "I will take care of you." (Also one among many of the reasons that we didn't smash it into each other's faces). So even though we don't say those words, the gesture is still there with a slice of cake.

We settled in over the next couple of days. Lots of unpacking among hectic work schedules. We had our friends over for our first movie night and carved pumpkins. We carve pumpkins every year with our friends so it was a fun tradition to continue. We also decided that the next time we go to a pumpkin patch will be when we have kids (ironically cause we feel too poor now). It was a fun date, but when Vons sells pumpkins with a buy one get one free promotion, it's just too good to pass up.

Carving on the balcony

Doug was te first one to be done. He didn't even have a printed out stencil to follow! He just sketched it out and carved it (it's a character from the movie Nightmare Before Christmas)

Working hard on our pumpkins. We really do have a creative group

As usual, I was the last one done (I don't count Sammy cause he carved 3!) It always takes me so long to clean them out. Probably cause I pick out the seeds at the same time. Or I'm just really slow. At least this year I was doing a semi-hard stencil.

My pumpkin! You can barely even tell that I tore his head off on accident. Luckily James knew what to do (he's the pumpkin carving king) and we toothpicked his head back on

Our groups pumpkins. Skull pumpkin, pumpkin centipede (based on a movie...don't google it), James' mutant ninja turtle (also not a stencil!...pumpkin carving king), bat, dragon, oogie boogie man, and a traditional jack o' lantern!

Then we watched a scary movie. Not usually my thing, but it's October, and better in a group. Unfortunately Doug has a high tolerance when it comes to scary movie, while I have a pretty low tolerance. I have too much of an imagination, especially when I'm home alone at night...

This is the only picture that I have for a before/after picture. This is our bedroom. This was right before we painted it...

And this is after, with all of our stuff. The painting that we had hung above our tv is now in our room. We were storing it in there and thought it went so well with the room that we hung it!

Wednesday night we had our first official meal on our new table. It was just hamburger helper, but it was goood. Then we had friends over again for another scary movie (that one I had seen though so it wasn't so scary).

It's been a bit cloudy ever since we moved in so we hadn't been able to enjoy our view that much. Last night at sunset it was so clear, so I finally got a picture of our view. Kind of hard to make out the difference between the islands and the ocean, but you get the idea

This morning it was clear again so I got a picture of our day time view. These pictures really don't give it justice though!

Now we get to see where else God is leading our life. It has been an adventure and I am so excited to see what comes next!

Laughing at my humaness

A couple weeks ago we looked at an apartment and at first dismissed it because of the "no pet" policy. We want to be able to get a dog eventually, and don't want to have to move in order to do so. It was a nice place, and even had an ocean view. It was an older building, but many apartment buildings in Ventura are (especially those in our price range).

After talking and discussing about it, we decided that it wouldn't be fair to the dog to have it in an apartment anyway. Sure, it would force us to get some exercise by taking it for walks frequently, but even taking it out to use the bathroom would become very annoying very quick. So we called to make sure that the apartment was still available and then mailed in our application.

We've been praying about a new place ever since we left for Europe. I keep telling God that he knows exactly where he wants us to be and he's already chosen our future home. I keep praying for him to guide us to where he wants us to be, and then found peace in knowing that he has it taken care of. I kinda felt like our change of heart about the apartment was a slight nudge.

Today we found out that we didn't get the apartment that we had applied for. Apparently they leased it out the same day that they received our application.

I was really bummed at first and then was reminded that since it didn't work out, that's not the place that God is wanting us to be. I had to laugh at my childish reply of "But I wanted THAT one!" Haha oh man. Typical human to hand over control to the maker of the universe and then pout and try to snatch it back when it doesn't go the way we expect.

So we started calling other places to set up appointments. We have one for either Saturday or Sunday (depending on the landlord's availability once Doug is off work). This one is also an ocean view, and it has a fire place in the apartment and a pool in the complex. I feel like God is reassuring us that he's in control. Even if we don't get this one either, He's already shown me that he's going to take care of us and knows what we really want (a fire place would be awesome, so it's already one-upped the place that we didn't get).

This is just to say that God is God, I am not, and I need to keep trusting him to provide for us. Ah, the pathetic-ness of being human :)

the furious longing of God

A while ago our pastor read an excerpt from Brennan Manning's "the furious longing of God." It's the same author as "The Ragamuffin Gospel." I had read that book in Joshua, so I was interested in this one, especially since I liked the excerpt even though I don't remember what it was about.

I' been wanting to read it for a while, but it was rather expensive so I never got around to it. I finally bought it this week though (not paying rent made it less expensive). It's just a little thing. Last weekend when Doug was out of town I couldn't sleep so I started reading. I got to page 100 before I was tired enough to go to bed (like I said, it's small so it's not as impressive as it sounds).

Overall I liked it. It was completely different than what I thought it was going to be. I always misunderstood the title as "the furious longing FOR God," thinking that it would be from our side and how humanity craves a God. But nope, it's about God's longing for us.

It wasn't as good as "The Ragamuffin Gospel," which I plan to read again once we unpack and I find it. But I thought that I'd post some of the quotes that really stuck out to me. The kind that made me actually underline it in the book (gasp!):

"The men and women who are truly filled with light are those have gazed deeply into the darkness of heir own imperfect existence."

"The foundation of the furious longing of God is the Father who is the originating Lover, the Son who is the full self-expression of that Love, and the Spirit who is the original an inexhaustible activity of that Love, drawing the created universe into itself."

"Jesus, the incarnation of the furious longing of God, wants more than a close relationship with you and me; He seeks nothing less than union."

Edited: As I was in the shower, I was thinking about the book again and remembered a quote that I had forgotten about, and apparently missed while I was flipping through my book. It was a quote of St. Augustine, and for me it's powerful:

Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem.

(In loving me, you made me lovable.)

I couldn't even sit through the movie...

Last night at youth group some of us were talking about movies and someone was commenting on a movie that I haven't seen, but I read the book. When I stated that I had read the book, a student said, "Why? I thought that the movie was too long, how did you sit through the book?"

And it's not a bad book or anything. I told her that I read a lot. She didn't seem to understand that. It made me laugh. I've read eleven books since finishing college, and am in the middle of two right now. I dunno. I've always love to read and never stopped loving to read. I hope I always make time to read!

September 11th

It is crazy that today was the 10 year anniversary for the terrorist attacks of September 11th. It's crazy because I can remember it, and it doesn't seem like it was 10 years ago. And it's crazy because I realize that many of the students that we work with probably don't remember it at all. Or remember it affecting their parents more and not really understanding what was happening.

I was 13 and I didn't really know what was happening.

I remember getting ready for school like normal. My family doesn't watch the news in the morning, or any tv for that matter. My mom had gone on a staff planning retreat for the day anyways, and I don't remember seeing my dad or sister that morning. My Nana was driving me to school that day.

I remember turning on the radio like I normally did while I got ready. I didn't understand why it was talk radio when it was a music station. I didn't understand why they weren't playing music, and didn't really listen to what they were saying (I have no clue what was said actually) I just was annoyed that there wasn't any music.

My Nana picked me up and told me what had happened and I started putting together what had happened with the radio and how they had been reporting the plane crashes. I remember we listened to the radio on the way to school, and I remember that something major happened when we were in the car. It might have been the second plane hitting, or it could have been the first tower crumbling. I don't remember.

At school I know that we talked about it, but it wasn't that big of a deal. The teachers were probably trying not to alarm us. It wasn't ignored, but it wasn't highlighted all day.

Those are my memories of that day. I didn't watch all of the news coverage of what had happened until much later. I was able to escape many of the horrors of that day. But I still knew that everything had changed.

I remember talking with our neighbors about it. About the craziness of something big happening in our lifetimes. Something that we would remember and be able to tell our kids about. In history classes, I remember always calculating how old my parents would have been when events took place: the moon landing, Vietnam, the Berlin wall falling. Knowing that they had memories of these events, while we could only read about them in books. And now I had an event. My kids would realize that I had been 13 when it happened when they read about it in history books.

When I was 13 , the thought of war was exciting. Too often it seems that when we can't deal with something, we tend to romanticize it. In my mind, it would have been exciting to be around during WWII. I feel that that war has been the most romanticized. Probably because it was our biggest victory (next to the revolutionary war) in which we emerged stronger and relatively unscathed (geographically, of course). Growing up, I'd pretend I was living during war. I always wondered if there would be a war during my lifetime (I really just had to calculate how often we've had a war in our country's history and I would have realized that it was inevitable). But the idea of war didn't cause dread or fear in my 13 year old self.

Today I felt old. Having 10 years pass that quick will do it. I know that I'm not old. But today I felt my age. I was old enough to have memories of the event commemorated. And have ten years of memories between the time that it happened and now. I started and finished both high school and college in that time, spent a year in the mountains in that time, and got married in that time.

I don't believe in peace. Not that we shouldn't try to live in peace, but it's too optimistic for me. Only with Christ can there be peace on earth. I don't condone just going to war for the heck of it either. But sometimes I find the people who call for peace to be like the annoying people who get in the middle of a conflict and say, "Come on guys, let's just get along." Nothing is solved. Instead the conflict becomes clipped off before either side can really state their case. I'm not saying that war is the only solution either. But I don't think Hitler would have been stopped if there was no World War II. Europe might be Russia if there hadn't been a Cold War. And we would have tea time if there had been no Revolutionary War. There would be an American Confederation without the Civil War (not to mention slaves). All to say that sometimes war is necessary. But sometimes we can't see if it was necessary or not until we come out on the other side. We are quick to judge current times, but who knows, in 10 years time we may be saying that Al Queda and other terrorist organizations would not have been stopped without this war. And we may say that nothing was really gained. Only time will tell.

All I know is that God is in control. He loves us. And he knows what's best. Nothing else matters. We live in a mad world.

Home

We've been home for two weeks already and those two weeks have really flown by. We've been trying to get back in sync with our lives but that's taken a bit of time. Three days after we got back from Europe Doug drove up to Seattle for a work convention that was happening there. While he was gone Devonna and Reagan came and visited. We had a lot of fun sharing souvenirs, stories, and chocolate. We got to hang out with Reagan a lot. Doug came home a few days before they went home so he got to hang out with them too.

Reagan loves playing Monster with Doug. It started out as hide and seek and then turned into monster. At first it was a lot of jumping out and scaring him and then Reagan would run to one of us. Then when we got him to fight the monster off it turned into a battle between Doug and Reagan (two year old friendly of course). Reagan always got to win and rescue whoever Doug had kidnapped. At one point I picked Reagan up to run away like we had in the previous phase of the game but he yelled, "We have to go back and save my mommy!" So Reagan went back and saved Devonna.

At one point during the hide and seek portion Reagan and I were hiding under a blanket. Doug was trying to trick Reagan into coming out and started playing with one of Reagan's trucks. Doug said, "this is a pretty cool truck. I wonder if I know any kids who would like this truck." Reagan, who's sitting in my lap, whispers "Reagan." I started cracking up, which didn't help hide us (not that Doug couldn't tell where we were by the big lump in the floor with a blanket over it).

Of course the time flew by and we didn't get to do everything that we wanted to do. We did get Reagan a t-ball set though and he's really good at it.

Everyone that we see asks us how our trip was. I find it a really hard question to ask. Usually there isn't a lot of time to really talk about the trip, so I have to resort to summing it up in a word, which is usually "amazing" or "great." How do you sum up a trip like that when someone asks it as a passing question? I have no problem discussing the trip, telling stories, sharing experiences, but I usually let the other person lead with questions. I don't want to go on an hour long gush about how "great" my trip was. Plus, if you know me, that's not my style at all. But don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want to talk about my trip. That's not it at all. In fact, some of the questions make me think about stuff that I hadn't before. Or remember stuff that wasn't right on the surface. It's just hard when a coworker is trying to make small talk. You can't make small talk out of something that "amazing." :)

Doug and I have been really busy with work and church. At first I was going to be working the entire weekend. I was kind of bummed about it, but figured that at least I would be getting holiday pay on Monday. Yesterday when I was at work, my manager was needing to fix my schedule because she had accidentally scheduled me for six days, when we can legally only be scheduled for five. One of my coworkers heard about how we were going to get holiday pay on Monday. She said, "I wish I was working tomorrow!" So I said, "You can have my shift!" And my manager let her have it. Yes! I was seriously so happy I think I had one of my best customer service days, even though I was in the fitting rooms, which is my least favorite position to be in.

This morning we slept in pretty late. My dad made french toast and bacon. Then my dad and Doug moved our bed from the garage to Devonna's room, so now we have a big more space, and a private bathroom. And we won't be in the middle of the house where you can hear everything (Nana and Papa, I can't believe you never complained about the noise we'd make playing board games after you guys went to bed!)

I finished reading the third book of the Hunger Games books. I liked them. They were better than Twilight in so many ways. But I already know that the movies are going to suck because they won't be able to correctly portray many of the scenes.

Doug and I hit the beach in the afternoon. It was the first time we've been able to hang out just us since we've been back. It was a relief. And a lady complimented my hat when we were at the corner liquor store getting lemonades and chips. Yes! For a little bit after we got back, it was strange to adjust to not always having Doug around. I told him how it was weird not literally living our lives together anymore. And that I felt like I kept forgetting stuff that I wanted to tell him that had happened throughout the day. And it was weird texting him again. Or texting anyone at all for that matter.

After the beach we drove around Ventura looking for places to rent. We're not quite ready to move out yet and still need to save up to do so, but it's good to know what's out there.

We came home and finished our clothes and essentials to our new room. Doug was nice enough to make our bed :)

We watched Tangled with my mom. I had only seen it once and had gotten it through Netflix. Such a good movie. Love it.

Tomorrow starts another busy week and another day in our lives. We're just trying to keep our priorities straight and not get lost in the busyness.

Last day in Europe

This morning we almost felt like just staying at the hotel all day again. But that felt a bit pathetic being that it was our last day here! We just didn't have anything else to really see. We could go back to places, but eh.

We decided to walk through Trastevere this afternoon. It's in the south east of Rome. My guide book made me laugh when it informed me that it was originally wasn't considered part of Rome...until 270 AD. I know, I know, there was a lot of time before that (and important historical stuff too), but the book made it sound like it was recently that it was added to Rome.

We had heard that Trastevere is often overlooked by tourists and that it was a shame. It was a pretty part of town, kind of on a hill. It seemed a little dead, but that's probably because it's overlooked by tourists and many Romans are on holiday so they closed their shop up. But we enjoyed our little stroll through the alleys and streets

An arch that we found. We didn't stay long enough to find out what it was because it had a pesky chirping sound on it. In a park near where we used to live, there's a gazebo that had one of those sounds. It's ear piercing. We always thought it was to discourage hobos from sleeping there. This was the first building that we encountered here that had one though. So we covered our ears and kept walking

View of Rome

This was a fountain across the street from where the above picture was taken. The water wasn't that cold, but we still wanted to jump in it. We didn't though because there were military guys nearby and I hear it's a hefty fine to swim in their fountains...

Pretty streets in Trastevere

And old buildings

Santa Maria Church in Trastevere

I love ivy!

Laundry and ivy. Picturesque

Then we walked along the river to find our way to our normal bus stop

We stumbled on more ruins. Signs were in Italian though...so we don't know what they were. But they were cool looking

We made it to the bus stop just as our bus pulled up and then pulled away. The stop is both the beginning and end of the route, so normally they wait 10 minutes before leaving. So we were shocked when he just took off. So we bought some gelato to pass the time to wait for the next bus (which was 40 minutes later). Doug got Strawberry and Lemon and loved it. Probably his favorite of the week (but I'm putting words in his mouth). I got watermelon and pineapple. I hoped the watermelon would be more candy flavored than tasting like the fruit, but I hoped wrong. It wasn't bad, but I did like the pineapple more. After we were done we waited some more for our bus on some steps in the shade.

It finally came and nearly passed us again. We were expecting it to stop, and luckily Doug signaled that we wanted the bus. I don't know how the bus works in the US cause I've never used it. But here you need to hail the buses, almost like hailing a taxi. But most bus drivers stop at every stop anyways. Not this bus driver. It was a pretty empty bus and we got to our stop in record time. It felt like teach-the-tourists-the-Italian-way day. We kept passing up stops and seeing the people get left behind (you could tell by the incredulous look on their face or how they moved toward the bus, but didn't signal). Another thing is that they have buttons on the bus to signal when you want to get off. The bus driver doesn't stop right when you push it, but at the next stop he will let you off. All of the buses we'd been on all week stopped at every stop and opened the doors, whether someone pushed the button or not. We were sure to push the button for our stop cause we guessed he would not be stopping otherwise.

So we made it back to our hotel pretty quick and headed for the pool. We cooled off in the water with more dunking, jumping, diving, and somersaults. And we soaked up the last of the Italian sun. After a while we came back upstairs, watched some How I Met Your Mother, and then went down to have our last meal in Europe at McDonalds. It some how seemed fitting :]

Then we came back and packed up our bags. Somehow I have a little more room than the trip here. We charged all of our electronics and are pretty much ready to go. Our flight isn't until 12:55, so luckily we don't have to get up super early. And Doug always makes sure we have plenty of time (even extra most of the time).

Now I'm off to eat my last Magnum ice cream bar and to watch more tv online :) It's been a great trip and we feel so blessed to have been able to come here. We're not sure if we're ready to come home yet. We're ready to leave Rome, but it'll be weird to be home. But it's time to resume our lives again and see what God has planned for us